Fresh Water Part 12 - Letting Go

January 23, 2019  •  Leave a Comment

 

Living with her friends who were giving her poor advice, Sandy’s anger boiled over into hysteria.  She began to believe Tom was doing things he wasn’t.  Unable to convince her, he focused on his girls and having time with them.  Still, because of her suspicions and control, Sandy kept Tom from seeing them for only a few hours a week.

Still getting himself established with a new real estate financing company, Tom was working long hours and making new friends in the process.  After just moving in, while walking up to his small studio apartment he had rented near the girls, a stray cat befriended herself to Tom.  Over the course of a week, Tom adopted her as his own and they quickly became close.  She was all he had now.

It was only a few months into the separation when Tom had Grace and Gabbie over for a Saturday afternoon.  Money was tight and Sanded needed her child support to pay her rent.  After arguing with Tom through the door when she came to pick up the girls, he wrote her a check for the last few hundred dollars he had.   

That next week, Tom received a call from Sandy saying, ‘she was going to get to the bottom of this’ and that he wasn’t going to see the girls until she did.   Not sure what she was referring to, he finally pressed it out of her that she was accusing him of hurting Grace.  Shocked and taken back knowing he would never hurt Grace, he vehemently denied it to her, but she would not listen.

From that night forward, Tom’s life was changed forever.  Sandy pursed her accusations convincing others that Tom was a danger to Grace.  Over the next year, Tom fought to have even the minimal visitation with the girls.  

Crushed and dismayed, many night’s Tom’s faith, his friends, and his cat, were the only things keeping him sane.  The heartbreak of losing his girls, the loss of all he had in the church, and the loss of his marriage, left him in the middle of a spiritual desert in need of fresh water.

Within a year of their separation, Sandy remarried and moved to Texas, taking Grace and Gabbie with her, to start a new life there.  Tom tried to stop her but couldn’t.  All he had gained in his rights as a father had to be re-challenged once again.  Over the next year, the pain and loss were too much for him to take, both emotionally and physically, so finally he decided he would have to settle with Sandy and let go.     

After Sandy left for Texas, Tom had moved to the Bay Area to be near family who had moved there around the same time.  Now able to afford a better place, Tom rented an apartment overlooking the bay where he would take daily walks and bike rides talking with God.   The sea and the air were a healing to his soul.  His walks, and times sitting by the ocean, were like pouring ointment on open wounds that were gradually healing over.

It had now been over eight years since moving to California and it seemed like a daze to Tom.  He never imagined that he would have gone through so many challenges and failures. If he had known what he would have faced, he may never have obeyed that voice telling him to look for a position there except for one thing; his girls.  Knowing his love for Grace and Gabbie made it all worth it to him and he knew he would do it all over again just so they could be born.

 

 


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