Today was one of those days that started off on the wrong foot, so to speak. What I mean is that, before even having a morning walk, while closing the door after letting out the dogs, somehow, the door caught my big toenail and pulled it back enough to cause a great deal of pain and bleeding. OUCH!!
After the Mrs. bandaged me up with the grandson’s Star Wars band-aides, I was too stubborn not to miss our morning walk so I hobbled all the way downtown and back. It was worth it, though. On the way to the coffee shop, blood on my sock under my shoe, and limping, I couldn’t help to think of how it was a perfect illustration of life.
On the surface, people wouldn’t know I had a bloody toe this morning. They may have known something was wrong by the slight limp that I tried to hide, but, unless they had x-ray vision (heaven forbid!) then they wouldn’t have known about the pain and wound.
The photo today was taken while I was traveling in the Houston area. It’s outside of Galveston, Texas in a popular bird sanctuary. I had made the trek south to try and take a sunset photo. While there, I experienced a painful conversation with my daughter and a separation that I had thought was beginning to heal.
While walking through the marshes the wound in my heart grew to a point where I could hardly walk. I came up on this bench and was fortunate enough to catch the sun setting. After snapping the photo, I sat in that chair and cried. I had felt as though an inner wound had been opened up again. Even today, when I look at this photo, that wound pangs my heart.
Like many people, I had been carrying a wound around that I thought was healing only to find it had opened again. Sure, unless you knew me like the Mrs. who’s sat through many tearful moments with me, you would never know because I’ve learned to compartmentalize the pain of that wound.
Life has a way of opening it back up again and again. It may be a scene from a movie, a father holding his daughter like we saw tonight at the restaurant, something I see on Facebook, or a song. It’s these types of wounds that open, heal, and open again that are some of the most difficult to deal with.
They say that those who hurt the most over loss are the ones who love the most. I believe that to be true. I also know that trying to carry the burden of having an open wound is difficult on those who love me. It’s difficult for them because they don’t want me to suffer and it hurts them to see me hurt, which is why I rarely share the pain.
Through it all, one thing stands clear. The hidden wounds (emotional ones), unless treated, will only grow infected and that infection will spread. It will spread to our mind, our physical body, and to others around us.
The only treatment I’ve found, even though that wound opens again from time-to-time, has been my faith in a patient, merciful, and ever-loving God. His eternal patience, love, and healing power over those fears, pains, and wounds are the only thing that has ever helped.
Like others, I’ve tried to cover the pain with things of the world and it never helps. They only bring more pain. Nothing but the loving hands of the Father caring for those wounds has done any good. Too many times, I’ve seen people try to drown the pain out with substances, material things, or physical affection, only to find themselves feeling worse than they did before.
So, tonight, if you’re living with that open wound in your heart, know that He cares. He can, and will, help you through the pain to bring you to wholeness again. Giving it all to Him is the only way to find the healing we all seek. As a special senior woman once told me, ‘Brad, you need to let go and let God’… She was right. Though it’s one of the most difficult things to do, at times, because my nature is to try to fix things, it’s the only way to find healing.
You too can find it. You’re loved tonight. Be encouraged. You’re not alone in your walk with pain. Many, many others have to walk that path. Tonight, before you go to bed, just ask Him to heal that wound and give it to him. You’ll be glad you did.
Amen and goodnight my friend,