I’m not sure where it all started, or how it became a holiday tradition, but kissing under a mistletoe has been something that’s been around longer than me.
Our family dinners at Grandma’s house were a time to run and hide. My aunt, who loved to embarrass us, would try to catch us (my uncle and I) when we weren’t expecting and smack one on us; right on the lips if she could. It was something I became acutely aware of and tried to avoid at all costs…
In high school and college, it was always a good excuse to try and get that girl you had a crush on, to let you give her a kiss (it never worked by the way). The delusion of a green plant causing that pretty girl to think twice about giving a nerd a kiss was way out there in fairytale land.
Today, we don’t keep one in the house since the Mrs is always willing to give me a big kiss (usually when I’m not expecting it). Besides, there’s something about seeing others kiss that sort of makes me a little nauseous (it must be my OCD or something).
Every year, we get our large oak tree in the front trimmed. One of the things we’ve learned that kills the tree, are parasites. The biggest culprit of them all; mistletoe. Yep, it’s a parasite. When I first learned that it will take the life right out of a tree, every light in my head came on about Christmas mistletoe.
NOW I understand. It’s a fitting description for the awkward use of a plant to draw the life out of another person by making them give you a kiss. There yah go.
So, ladies and gentlemen, the next time you see someone coming at you with that gross piece of vegetation raised up over their head, RUN… Yes, it’s a parasite, and you never know what it will take from you. Besides, who wants to be kissed by a stranger (or aunt)? Now, guys, if it’s your wife, unless you want to sleep on the couch Christmas eve, I would suggest going along with the ploy…
To all you love birds out there tonight, here’s wishing you all a happy, and love filled, Christmas free from parasites…
Love always my friends,
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