I’ve never been a big ‘flower guy,’ but do appreciate their beauty and smells. Having grown up with an uncle who knew every plant in the book by name and species, I learned to appreciate them.
This morning, on the way to downtown for our morning walk to get a coffee, the Mrs. and I noticed our neighbors were setting up for an outdoor event. We stopped by to say hello and learned they were hosting the ‘Garden Party’ at their home (which is beautiful by the way) for the Garden Club. The Mrs. almost joined a few years ago because she has grown somewhat of a green thumb, but we never did.
Tonight, while taking the dogs for a brief walk, I passed by, and the yard was full of folks in their summer outfits listening to jazz and enjoying refreshments. The men, however, were mainly standing around looking like ‘trophy husbands’ while the ladies chatted about the flowers. Can’t say I missed it too much, to be honest, especially knowing I might have been one of those guys!
When I think of a garden, I think of the one my Grandmother used to keep (along with the hard work of my uncle) growing up. She had corn, lettuce, tomatoes, beans, cabbage, squash, and others. We always had fresh food when we ate there in the summer. She canned a lot of them, so we could have them in the winter as well.
The whole event around the corner from our home reminded me of the song by Ricky Nelson called, “Garden Party”. I’ll post a link to it below so those of you who are under forty will get to hear the song.
The song is about a guy (probably Ricky) who went to a ‘Garden Party’ to reminisce with his old friends and play some songs. The only problem, they all knew his name (probably because of name tags), but no one recognized him. He played all of his songs, but everyone was too busy to listen or care.
The point of the song winds up being that he ‘learned his lesson well’. He realized that he can’t please everyone, so best to just please himself. Enjoy his music for what it was and not expect everyone to like it.
At first it sounds like a selfish thought to not care about pleasing everyone and just stick to pleasing yourself. But, after stepping back a bit, there is some wisdom in that old song.
Too often, we get caught up in the approval of others. We worry about whether they’ll like our clothes, our home, our car, our personality, our hair, our finger nail polish (well, not me), or maybe our cooking. It could be anything!
The good point he makes is that if we live for the approval of others, we might as well just go do something else. If we can be confident in who we are, enjoy the gifts God has given us, and play to our own toon, it won’t matter whether others approve or not.
It’s not an easy thing to accomplish. I know because I’ve always been the one who’s tried to please others. It’s like my nature!
At times, in my line of work it’s a good thing. But, at other times, it can be debilitating and has kept me from being real in social situations. I’ve learned to not worry so much and just be myself over time, and it’s been liberating.
If that’s you, the person who feels like they’re always striving to please others at the sacrifice of your own desires and needs, that may not always be a bad trait. I do want to encourage you to take time for yourself and not worry whether others will like it. It’s not selfish to take time for yourself occasionally. In fact, it’s healthy!
It may be a ‘Garden Party’ or it may be a walk along the beach. But, if you can, take a day, or even a few hours, to enjoy some time to yourself this weekend. It may just be refreshing!
Love always friend,