Have you ever had one of those ‘ah ha!’ moments when something you’d been trying to describe about how you feel, and just couldn’t, suddenly hits you like a wooden pizza peel right in the face? Tonight, was one of those times for me.
We have the grandboy, Noah, over tonight who is engrossed in his Xbox game. So, after dinner, I decided to take the dogs for a short walk to get them, and me, some exercise. About halfway through the trek around the block, it hit me, ‘BAM!’
A few weeks ago, I’d been wrestling with a sense in my heart and mind about how life feels these days. I was talking with the Mrs. about it during our morning coffee run and just couldn’t put words to the feelings (probably partially due to not being awake). It really bothered me, but I let it go.
Tonight, when the pizza peel hit me in the face (figuratively), it seemed so simple and clear. The words, ‘cruise control’ came to my mind like they were stamped there. ‘That’s it!’, I said to myself. That’s what I was trying to express to the Mrs. the other morning. Why it hit me tonight while walking the dogs, I have no idea.
Over the past several months, I’ve had this sense that life is just passing along and I’m not really in the driver’s seat. I mean, I am in the sense that I’m where I am because I’ve chosen to be in the job I’m in, marriage I’m in, home I’m in, and journey I’m on. That’s not really what I’m mean, though.
I’ve noticed that, without the kids at home, life seems to come and go with a greater amount of routine. Routine can be great. It gives structure, security to the Mrs., and a sense of what to expect. Routine can also be the enemy of creativity. Only allowing ‘X’ amount of time to the things we love outside of work, home life, and social life, truly limits the heart and mind.
If you’ve been following my blog or have known me for any length of time, you’ll know that I love photography (duh Brad, that’s why you have a photography site…). But, because of the need to keep security and stability, financially, I’ve put the creativity to the side and replaced it with routine. The more that happens, the less I get the need to pick up the camera and go shoot. Lately, I’ve even felt OK with planning Saturday around mowing the grass and doing errands verses planning a getaway with my Sony A7RII.
Perhaps, my mind, heart, or maybe even God, are trying to tell me something. Maybe, they’re saying routine is Ok, but don’t forget the gifts you’ve been given. Possibly, the struggle with the ‘blues’ lately is also partly due to the lack of creative expression.
Whatever the reason, I know that living in ‘cruise control’ will only end up in a fiery crash. You can’t let go of the wheel too long and not swerve off the road; even with a Tesla self-driving car!
Today, if you’re like me and feel like your life is on ‘cruise control’, I want to encourage you to take some time to break free from the routine and do something that allows your creativity to express itself. It may not be photography, whatever it is, take some time this weekend (I will be for sure) to go out and do something. Even if it’s just a few hours. I’ll share with you Sunday on how my time went after turning off the ‘cruise control’ in my life for a bit…
Wishing you the best tomorrow friend!